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Fantasy Headlines You'd Like to See

 

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They may never appear in real life, but what headlines would you like to see in your morning paper, or hear on the news? What story, serious or not, would really make your day?
Created On:Dec 8 2004  8:54 EST
List Volume:9,631 hits 693 votes
Voting Limit:5 times in a 24 Hour period
List Owner:eansin
Category:Television::News
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RatingVoteList ItemScoreYearlyLast Vote
More InfoVotesMonthlyListed
1.  All Forms of Cancer Cured22  -Nov 14 2008 17:58
22  -Dec 14 2004 22:43
2.  NASCAR goes Bankrupt21  -Oct 9 2008 16:53
Inbred hicks everywhere commit suicide29  -Jun 10 2005  1:57
3.  US Borders Successfully Closed to Illegal Mexican Immigrants21  -Nov 8 2008 20:05
27  -Dec 8 2004  8:58
4.  Barry Bonds Banned from Cooperstown for Life for Steroid Use18  -Oct 9 2008 14:28
HR, Other Records Likely Discounted as Tainted by Banned Drugs18  -Dec 15 2004 20:12
5.  Rap 'Music' No Longer Popular18  -Nov 8 2008 20:02
20  -Dec 8 2004  9:03
6.  Internet Now Free of Viruses, Spam, and Other Malware13  -Jan 23 2008  2:43
13  -Dec 18 2004 10:28
7.  NASCAR More Popular than NFL11  -Feb 25 2007 10:13
NASCAR is better already13  -Jul 27 2006 11:45
8.  Red Sox Win World Series after being down 3-0 to Yankees - this one came true8  -Jun 25 2005 14:23
8  -Dec 9 2004 16:15
9.  US Closes Borders to All Non-English Speaking Foreigners Seeking Residence7  -Jan 9 2008  5:42
7  -Jan 8 2005 20:31
10.  Osama bin Laden Captured: Was Disguised as Jewish Rabbi6  -Dec 26 2007 11:20
6  -Dec 8 2004  8:56
11.  92 Year Old Chuck ''The Bayonne Bleeder'' Wepner Wins Heanyweight Title!5  -Dec 16 2008 16:10
5  -Dec 16 2008 16:10
12.  Celebrations as Legislation Making Martin Luther King Day a Holiday Expires5  -Nov 8 2008 20:03
Back to Just Another Day on the Calendar9  -Jan 17 2005  8:53
13.  Losers and Idiots Stop Visiting Wanderlist5  -Apr 19 2006 22:34
5  -Jan 12 2005 17:50
14.  Congress Passes Bill Requiring All Immigrants to Pass English Test Before Entry5  -Sep 9 2006 14:25
Had Strong Bipartisan Support5  -Dec 15 2004  7:33
15.  ''Same Sex Marriage Now Legal''4  -Jan 26 2008 22:59
Gay people are now allowed to be as miserable as straight people.4  -Jan 23 2008  2:51
16.  John McCain Elected President; First Independent Candidate to Win Oval Office4  -Sep 1 2006 21:42
Vows to Reform Federal Government, End Coruption, and Curb Wasteful Spending6  -Dec 16 2004 17:12
17.  No Murders Reported in US since 12/14/044  -Nov 28 2005 23:02
4  -Dec 14 2004 22:42
18.  ''Convicted Felons Now Face Mandatory Sterilization''3  -Jan 26 2008 22:58
It is time to start thinning the herd.3  -Jan 23 2008  2:48
19.  Congress passes Term Limit Bills3  -Oct 28 2006 14:37
3  -Sep 9 2006 14:29
20.  NHLPA boss Bob Goodenow commits suicide3  -Jan 29 2007  3:47
3  -Jul 8 2005  3:36
21.  All Arabs in U.S. Now Wearing Electronic Monitoring Equipment to Track Movement3  -Jan 19 2005 18:53
Both Foreign and Native Born, Since Neither Can Be Trusted3  -Jan 14 2005 13:40
22.  WSJ: Avidyne Corp. Declares Chapter 11 After SEC Indicts CEO Dan Schwinn3  -Jan 14 2005 13:41
Allegedly Embezzled Millions to Pay for Ex-Wife Caterina Bandini's Wild Spending Sprees3  -Jan 10 2005 15:54
23.  Tobacco Industry Admits It Knew All Along Its Products Killed Millions:3  -Jan 8 2005  7:42
Confess They Were Worthless, Greedy Liars Indifferent to the Harm They Caused5  -Dec 15 2004 20:04
24.  Iraqi Government Executes Saddam Hussein, Top Aides for War Crimes3  -Jan 13 2005  7:40
3  -Dec 8 2004  9:01
25.  FDA Approves Safe, Effective AIDS Vaccine3  -Jan 20 2005  6:35
let the unprotected sex begin ( never mind the other diseases)3  -Dec 8 2004  8:59
26.  Dems, Reps End Party Bickering, Work Together to Solve Country's Woes3  -Sep 6 2005  0:27
3  -Dec 8 2004  8:57
27.  New Requirements on being elected to political office2  -Oct 28 2006 14:40
Must have had a real job2  -Sep 9 2006 14:31
28.  Supreme Court Invalidates All Racial Hiring Quotas and Affirmative Action2  -Jan 14 2005 13:40
Blacks, Other Minorities Will Have to Get Jobs and Promotions On Their Qualifications Alone2  -Jan 14 2005  7:01
29.  High-Tech Pill Allows Person to Be Invisible for 24 Hours2  -Jan 13 2005  7:40
2  -Jan 11 2005  7:28
30.  Prices Come Way Down on Pro Sports Tickets2  -Jan 8 2005 20:30
2  -Jan 8 2005  7:41
31.  Chocolate Now Free at All Supermarkets and Candy Stores2  -Jan 20 2005 17:38
As Much As You Want, Any Kind You Want2  -Dec 26 2004 18:28
32.  Study Proves An All-Chocolate Diet Improves Health and Extends Longevity2  -Dec 25 2004 18:03
2  -Dec 24 2004 18:05
33.  Opened Warren Commission Archives Reveal Truth About JFK Assassination2  -Dec 24 2004 18:08
Mystery Laid to Rest at Long Last2  -Dec 20 2004 16:53
34.  Jimmy Hoffa's Remains Positively Identified by DNA Analysis2  -Jan 20 2005 17:39
2  -Dec 15 2004 20:09
35.  Christmas Becoming More Spiritual and Joyous, Less Commercial2  -May 11 2005 20:50
2  -Dec 15 2004  7:27
36.  Saying ''Merry Christmas'' No Longer Politically Incorrect2  -Dec 17 2004  5:38
Country, Foreigners Realize It Is Fundamentally a Christian Nation2  -Dec 15 2004  7:26
37.  Strong Bipartisan Support Seen for Cost-Effective National Healthcare System2  -Dec 11 2004 20:37
2  -Dec 8 2004  9:08
38.  Mission Accomplished, Last US Troops Pull Out of Iraq2  -Oct 20 2007 12:37
12  -Dec 8 2004  9:00
39.  Alabama National Guard cracks down on deadbeats, orders Bush to report.1  -Oct 19 2007  9:57
13  -May 10 2007 18:05
40.  Democrats admit they have no ideas on solving anythnig1  -Sep 9 2006 14:28
1  -Sep 9 2006 14:28
41.  ''Mid -Atlantic Wrestling'' 1985 year-long DVD set released1  -Nov 16 2005 22:23
It would just take 11 DVD's in paper sleeves, in a not-too-big box, to hold every episode!1  -Nov 16 2005 22:23
42.  junk food is healthy1  -Jul 11 2005 18:01
1  -Jul 11 2005 18:01
43.  Pollution Levels Declining Worldwide1  -Dec 28 2004  7:02
1  -Dec 28 2004  7:02
44.  America's Liberals Move to China, US Productivity at All Time High1  -Oct 28 2006 14:39
Since there are no more societal dregs living off the backs of real Americans15  -Dec 14 2004 12:28
45.  Arab-Israeli Truce Marks 1 Year Anniversary Without Incident1  -Dec 9 2004 16:17
1  -Dec 8 2004  9:04
46.  All Liberals move to Ghana Commit Mass Suicide 0  -Jan 23 2008  2:53
4  -Oct 28 2006 14:39
47.  Hitler's Remains Positively Identified in South American Mausoleum 0  --
Had Apparently Escaped in U-Boat With Eva Braun in Final Days of War 0  -Jan 20 2005 17:45
48.  Extraterrestrial little men invaded a TV talkshow, they say the end is coming 0  --
tarkanlove@gmail.com 0  -Dec 20 2004 19:11
49.  God says there is no free will in this word 0  --
tarkanlove@gmail.com 0  -Dec 20 2004 19:01
50.  Chicago Cubs Win World Series, Beat Yankees 4 Straight; Steinbrenner Fires Mgr.-1  -Aug 21 2007 13:05
5  -Dec 9 2004 16:17
51.  New Law Bars Christians From Forcing Religion On Others-2  -Aug 21 2007 13:05
4  -Jul 20 2007  5:41
52.  Dick Chaney uses last deferment, ordered to report to front line duty-2  -Oct 19 2007  9:58
6  -May 10 2007 18:07
53.  Bush Administration Declares Press Again Free-2  -Aug 21 2007 11:19
An end to 6 years of censorship2  -Feb 21 2006 20:07
54.  Texas Air National Guard low on manpower, Recalls Bush to finish his enlistment-3  -Oct 22 2007 10:26
15  -May 10 2007 18:03
55.  Rev Moon fake messiah takes Bush to hell with him-3  -Aug 21 2007 11:19
http://www.iapprovethismessiah.com/2005/5  -Sep 1 2006 21:42
56.  Wal-Mart Agrees to Offer Good Benefits to Employees, Treat Them Like People-3  -Aug 20 2007 21:07
15  -Dec 15 2004 19:59
57.  Wal-Mart Declares Chapter 11, Expected to Close All 50,000 Stores by Year's End-3  -Oct 21 2007  9:52
25  -Dec 8 2004  9:06
58.  Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly to Marry in Mass.-3  -Oct 22 2007 10:26
11  -Dec 8 2004  9:02
59.  Bush Apologizes to Nation, Allies for Iraq Blunder, Resigns Presidency-4  -Oct 21 2007  9:52
96  -Dec 9 2004 10:43
60.  Bush, Cheney shoot and kill each other while duck hunting-5  -Oct 20 2007 10:36
lack of military service , proper training in firearm use is blamed75  -Sep 3 2006  0:18
61.  Bush Found Brutally Murdered-5  -Aug 13 2007 17:04
7  -Jan 18 2005 23:40
62.  All Jews Tortured and Starved to Death-5  -Jul 20 2007  5:43
25  -Jan 14 2005  2:51
63.  Bush accidently injected with truth serum, confesses to life of lies and deceit-5  -Aug 18 2007  8:54
65  -Dec 14 2004 22:36
64.  Charlton Heston Murdered by NRA Member with 'Legal' AK-47 Bought at Gun Show-6  -Aug 23 2007 11:12
Attacker Emptied Three Clips of Bullets into Gun Control Opponent Before Turning Gun on Himself20  -Dec 16 2004 17:05
65.  ''Red'' states come to senses, turn ''Blue'' in 2006 elections.-8  -Aug 24 2007 13:28
Bush impeached for ''high crimes'' and sentenced to life in the National Guard16  -Jan 19 2005 20:56
 

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